Sunday, October 26, 2008

Travel Plan


See Montreal and Nova Scotia and to NewYork and then Florida.

From Florida to Caribbean, maybe stop Bahama diving for a few days.

I CAN"T WAIT!

I am becoming an Canadian citizen and getting my passport soon...

Really really need a long long trip for myself.

Friday, October 24, 2008

PNE

http://www.pne.ca/fright-nights/


Friday, October 10, 2008

My research topic - financial advisors

You probable figure out your investment is in trouble by watching news, and since your FP or IA is a robot who only know how to say " long term, long term", you found yourself so alone and helpless. In fact, there has been signs of down turn economy for a few months,
and there were plenty of chances to avoid huge losses and minimize risk. But on one care, sometimes even including yourself.

It is to my amazement how many people never realize this very simple matter of fact. You can not trust someone who is getting pay by someone else to take your money away from you!!

Saturday, September 20, 2008

Allman Brothers “Ramblin’ Man” 1970’s

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0WGVW7byRCA


{Refrain}
Lord, I was born a ramblin' man
Trying to make a living and doing the best I can
When it's time for leaving, I hope you'll understand
That I was born a rambling man

My father was a gambler down in Georgia
He wound up on the wrong end of a gun
And I was born in the back seat of a Greyhound bus
Rolling down highway forty-one

{Refrain}

I'm on my way to New Orleans this morning
Leaving out of Nashville, Tennessee
They're always having a good time down on the Bayou, Lord
Them delta women think the world of me

{Refrain

Alice in Chains “Man in the Box” 1990’s

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ks0pbT2Q0VM

I'm the man in the box
Buried in my shit
Won't you come and save me, save me


Feed my eyes, can you sew them shut?
Jesus Christ, deny your maker
He who tries, will be wasted
Feed my eyes now you've sewn them shut


I'm the dog who gets beat
Shove my nose in shit
Won't you come and save me, save me


Feed my eyes, can you sew them shut?
Jesus Christ, deny your maker
He who tries, will be wasted
Feed my eyes now you've sewn them shut

Alanis Morissette “You Oughta Know” 1990’s

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dR6mEu5-egA

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OSfGmMmWXyA&feature=related

I want you to know that I'm happy for you
I wish nothing but the best for you both
An older version of me
Is she perverted like me
Would she go down on your in a theater
Does she speak eloquently
And would she have your baby
I'm sure she'd make a really excellent mother

'Cause the love that you gave that we made
wasn't able to make it enough for you to be open wide, no
And every time you speak her name
Does she know how you told me you'd hold me
Until you died, 'til you died
But you're still alive

CHORUS:
And I'm here to remind you
Of the mess you left when you went away
It's not fair to deny me
Of the cross I bear that you gave to me
You, you, you oughta know

You seem very well, things look peaceful
I'm not quite as well, I thought you should know
Did you forget about me Mr. Duplicity
I hate to but you in the middle of dinner
It was a slap in the face how quickly I was replaced
Are you thinking of me when you fuck her

'Cause the love that you gave that we made
wasn't able to make it enough for you to be open wide, no
And every time you speak her name
Does she know how you told me you'd hold me
Until you died, 'til you died
But you're sill alive

REPEAT CHORUS

'Cause the joke that you laid in the bed that was me
And I'm not gonna fade
As soon as you close your eyes and you know it
And every time I scratch my nails down someone else's back
I hope you feel it...well can you feel it

REPEAT CHORUS

Girl's not grey - AFI

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nvSNbmxdjDA

I'll lay me down tonight,
Much further down.
Swim in the calm tonight.
This art does drown.

What follows me as the whitest lace of light,
will swallow whole,
just begs to be imbrued?
What follows has led me to this place where I belong with all erased.

What follows?
All insects sing tonight, the coldest sound.
I'd send Gods grace tonight,
Could it be found?

What follows,
Me as the whitest lace of light,
Will swallow whole
Just begs to be imbrued

What follows has led me to this place where I belong with all erased

I lay me down tonight,
Much further down.
Watch stars go out tonight.
On sinking ground

I'll lay me down.
I'll lay me down.

What follows me as the whitest lace of light
Will swallow whole
Just begs to be imbrued,

What follows, has led me to this place where I belong With all erased

What follows
Will swallow whole
What Follows
Will swallow whole

Let there be rock - ACDC

In the beginning
Back in nineteen fifty-five
Man didn't know about a rock 'n' roll show
And all that jive
The white man had the smoltz
The black man had the blues
No one knew what they was gonna do
But Tchaikovsky had the news
He said -
"let there be light", and there was light
"Let there be sound", and there was sound
"Let there be drums", and there was drums
"Let there be guitars", and there was guitars
"Let there be rock"
And it came to pass
That rock 'n' roll was born
All across the land every rockin' band
Was blowing up a storm
And the guitarman got famous
The businessman got rich
And in every bar there was a super star
With a seven year itch
There were fifteen million fingers
Learning how to play
And you could hear the fingers picking
And this is what they had to say
"Let there be light"
"Sound"
"Drums"
"Guitar"
"Let there be rock"
One night in a club called `The Shaking Hand'
There was a ninety-two decibel rocking band
The music was good and the music was loud
And the singer turned and he said to the crowd -
"Let there be rock"


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-QIFyBAtpGE

Rock Band song list

  • 1. AC/DC “Let There Be Rock” 1970s
  • 2. AFI “Girl’s Gone Grey” 2000’s
  • 3. Alanis Morissette “You Oughta Know” 1990’s
  • 4. Alice in Chains “Man in the Box” 1990’s
  • 5. Allman Brothers “Ramblin’ Man” 1970’s
  • 6. Avenged Sevenfold “Almost Easy” 2000’s
  • 7. Bad Company “Shooting Star” 1970’s
  • 8. Beastie Boys “So Whatcha Want” 1990’s
  • 9. Beck “E-Pro” 2000’s
  • 10. Bikini Kill “Rebel Girl” 1990’s
  • 11. Billy Idol “White Wedding Pt. I” 1980’s
  • 12. Blondie “One Way or Another” 1970’s
  • 13. Bob Dylan “Tangled Up in Blue” 1970’s
  • 14. Bon Jovi “Livin’ on a Prayer” 1980’s
  • 15. Cheap Trick “Hello There” 1970’s
  • 16. Devo “Uncontrollable Urge” 1980’s
  • 17. Dinosaur Jr. “Feel the Pain” 1990’s
  • 18. Disturbed “Down with the Sickness” 2000’s
  • 19. Dream Theater “Panic Attack” 2000’s
  • 20. Duran Duran “Hungry Like the Wolf” 1980’s
  • 21. Elvis Costello “Pump It Up” 1970’s
  • 22. Fleetwood Mac “Go Your Own Way” 1970’s
  • 23. Foo Fighters “Everlong” 1990’s
  • 24. Guns N’ Roses “Shackler’s Revenge” 2000’s
  • 25. Interpol “PDA” 2000’s
  • 26. Jane’s Addiction “Mountain Song” 1980’s
  • 27. Jethro Tull “Aqualung” 1970’s
  • 28. Jimmy Eat World “The Middle” 2000’s
  • 29. Joan Jett “Bad Reputation” 1980’s
  • 30. Journey “Anyway You Want It” 1970’s
  • 31. Judas Priest “Painkiller” 1990’s
  • 32. Kansas “Carry On Wayward Son” 1970’s
  • 33. L7 “Pretend We’re Dead” 1990’s
  • 34. Lacuna Coil “Our Truth” 2000’s
  • 35. Linkin Park “One Step Closer” 2000’s
  • 36. Lit “My Own Worst Enemy” 1990’s
  • 37. Lush “De-Luxe” 1990’s
  • 38. Mastodon “Colony of Birchmen” 2000’s
  • 39. Megadeth “Peace Sells” 1980’s
  • 40. Metallica “Battery” 1980’s
  • 41. Mighty Mighty Bosstones “Where’d You Go” 1990’s
  • 42. Modest Mouse “Float On” 2000’s
  • 43. Motorhead “Ace of Spades” 1980’s
  • 44. Nirvana “Drain You” 1990’s
  • 45. Norman Greenbaum “Spirit in the Sky” 1960’s
  • 46. Panic at the Disco “Nine in the Afternoon” 2000’s
  • 47. Paramore “That’s What You Get” 2000’s
  • 48. Pearl Jam “Alive” 1990’s
  • 49. Presidents of the USA “Lump” 1990’s
  • 50. Rage Against the Machine “Testify” 1990’s
  • 51. Ratt “Round & Round” 1980’s
  • 52. Red Hot Chili Peppers “Give it Away” 1990’s
  • 53. Rise Against “Give it All” 2000’s
  • 54. Rush “The Trees” 1970’s
  • 55. Silversun Pickups “Lazy Eye” 2000’s
  • 56. Smashing Pumpkins “Today” 1990’s
  • 57. Social Distortion “I Was Wrong” 1990’s
  • 58. Sonic Youth “Teenage Riot” 1980’s
  • 59. Soundgarden “Spoonman” 1990’s
  • 60. Squeeze “Cool for Cats” 1970’s
  • 61. Steely Dan “Bodhitsattva” 1970’s
  • 62. Steve Miller Band “Rock’n Me” 1970’s
  • 63. Survivor “Eye of the Tiger” 1980’s
  • 64. System of a Down “Chop Suey” 2000’s
  • 65. Talking Heads “Psycho Killer” 1970’s
  • 66. Tenacious D “Master Exploder” 2000’s
  • 67. Testament “Souls of Black” 1990’s
  • 68. The Donnas “New Kid in School” 2000’s
  • 69. The Go-Go’s “We Got the Beat” 1980’s
  • 70. The Grateful Dead “Alabama Getaway” 1980’s
  • 71. The Guess Who “American Woman” 1970’s
  • 72. The Muffs “Kids in America” 1990’s
  • 73. The Offspring “Come Out & Play (Keep ‘em Separated)” 1990’s
  • 74. The Replacements “Alex Chilton” 1980’s
  • 75. The Who “Pinball Wizard” 1960’s
  • 76. Abnormality “Visions” 2000’s
  • 77. Anarchy Club “Get Clean” 2000’s
  • 78. Bang Camaro “Night Lies” 2000’s
  • 79. Breaking Wheel “Shoulder to the Plow” 2000’s
  • 80. The Libyans “Neighborhood” 2000’s
  • 81. The Main Drag “A Jagged Gorgeous Winter” 2000’s
  • 82. Speck “Conventional Lover” 2000’s
  • 83. The Sterns “Supreme Girl” 2000’s
  • 84. That Handsome Devil “Rob the Prez-O-Dent” 2000’s

Maybe this will be my next read





Mr Shithead and Homo. Very unlikely customers for Lush Soaps.

[Anti cancer A new way of life] - David Servan - Schreiber



Page19 to 20

Until we have brushed up against mortality, life seems boundless and we'd prefer to keep it that way. It seems that there will always be time to set out in search of happiness. First I have to get my degree, pay off my loans, let the children grow up, retire...I'll worry about happiness later. When we put off till tomorrow the quest for the essential, we may find life slipping through our fingers without ever having savored it.

Cancer sometimes cures this strange nearsightedness, this dance of hesitations. By exposing life
's brevity, a diagnosis of cancer can restore life's true flavor. A few weeks after my diagnosis, I had the odd feeling a veil had been lifted that until then had dimmed my sight. One Sunday afternoon, in the small, sunny room of our tiny house, I was looking at Anna. Focused and peaceful, she was sitting on the floor near the coffee table, trying her hand at translating French poems into English. For the first time, I saw her as she was, without wondering whether I should prefer someone else.


A change came over me which I believe is irreversible. Questions of prestige, of political success, of financial status, became all at once unimportant. In those first hours when I realized I had cancer, I never thought of my seat in the Senate, of my bank account, or of the destiny of the free world...My wife and I have not hand a quarrel since my illness was diagnosed. I used to scold her about squeezing the toothpaste from the top instead of the bottom, about not catering sufficiently to my fussy appetite, about making up guest lists without consulting me, about spending too much on clothes. Now I am either unaware of such matters , or they seem irrelevant...

In their stead has come a new appreciation of things I once took for granted--- eating lunch with a friend, scratching Muffet's ears and listening for his purrs, the company of my wife, reading a book or magazine in the quite cone of my bed lamp at night, raiding the refrigerator for a glass of orange juice or a slice of coffee cake. For the first time I think I actually am savoring life. I realize, finally, that I am not immortal. I shudder when I remember all the occasions that I spoiled for myself - even when I was in the best of health - by false pride, synthetic values, and fancied slights.

Sunday, August 10, 2008

Beijing!





Saturday, August 02, 2008

Carly Simon - you are so vain

Small talk haters take further consolation from the fact that you are in star-studded company. Fear of small talk and stage fright are the same thing. The butterflies you feel in your stomach when you are in a roomful of strangers flutter' round the tummies of top performers. Pablo Casals complained of lifelong stage fright. Carly Simon curtailed live performances because of it. A friend of mine who worked with Neil Diamond said he insisted the words to "Song Sung Blue", a tune he'd been crooning for forty years, be displayed on his teleprompter, lest fear freeze him into forgetfulness.

Friday, July 25, 2008

Complete render



I am not very satisfy yet. But It is getting there now. It didn't take me to long to complete this set.

They want me to stay in the project. Let's see what happen : )

I am indeed a very lucky person. I am so happy that I am out of the depressing working environment and get to be my own manager for my own life and work.

I wish this can continue and all these work will worth it at the end. Finally I feel like that I am actually living a life instead of like a bolt in a machine.

I am very lucky indeed.

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

DormRoon Pass One


Working from Home is awesome. This is what I did today. I hope UBC will like it.

My investment and financial planning study is going...I am planning everything out the moment and enjoying the sun...

I hope the market will come around soon.

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Made $1,287.36 this morning with 2 stocks

This is my first trade attempt in a very tough market.

X just went up like crazy - up one point 9 dollars.

In 3 hours I made 1,287 dollars.

Not bad considering that is my 2 weeks part-time work salary : )

First big success. I have put all stop limit and made sure I only keep my loss within 1% of total investment.

This is so much fun!

Sunday, July 06, 2008

My trip to Kelowna!

I didn't take below pictures.






It is such a beautiful place!! We visited 3 wineries and a cherry picking garden. Okanagon! I love it....Have to go back again.

I have a few first times in this trip: first time have a pedicure and manicure.
First time visit a winery. First time eating duck breast that is not made by T&T ( and it is the best dish I ever had in my life) First time see a real oak wine barrel, First time pick cherries, First time join a wine making tour, first time feel like in Europe in Canada.

UBC ask me to renew the contract soon. I think if I can still have all these flexible hours and benefits I will renew it to November.

I am planning my next trip. Toffino next, Bahama this winter, and after toffino hopefully I can go see the northwest of Canada and Camp there. ( I found the idea of camping in northwest still quite frightening)

I need my Canadian Passport soon.....I need to go travel!

Found a place for my parents. It is around fir and West 16th. On that beautiful Cherry Blossom Street.

It is very cheap for only 2 months compare to other places downtown. And it is a very very nice building...... 850 sft big. Just there is no T&T around there which is a drawback : )

I never can learn the game of being smart and quiet. Life is too short to just smell asses and sit on a chair feel your ass getting fat.

An empty room full of jack asses can make me very very sick indeed.

I am one lucky person whom have the luxury of escape and attitude. Human nature, seasoning of drama and endless funny episodes.

Friday, July 04, 2008

Planning my study in Italy

There is this government project between Canada and Italy. As a Canadian Citizen, I can go work in Italy for 6 months....

I will love to find out more about it and it will be great if I can go there next year to work : )

Going to Kelowna this weekend.

Luna is coming over tomorrow morning to help me pack my stuff prepare for the painting job.

Need to get back into shape soon...yoga and swimming!

Wednesday, July 02, 2008

New works



For UBC, the residential school project.
I am upgrading my place. Just hired a contractor and I am going shopping tomorrow with him. By 15th of July, the whole place will be complete. I am so excited!

Next will be changing the kitchen counter top.

My parents are coming over again this August. I am looking for a place for them. Investment study is going pretty well. The UBC game project is going very well too.

I visited Galiano island this canada day holiday with Carlo and Rob. We had a lot of fun! Thank you so much for going to the island with me. I am grateful to have friends like them. Carlo surprisingly a very good pickup truck driver!

Vagn has a girl friend now. I think it will be very hard to have him come over help me out with the house again. I guess I have to stop rely on him with all the fixings around the place. Maybe forget about him totally. Pretend that I have never met him before. I don't know why I am upset. It is very selfish of me indeed.

I think the best thing for both of us will be forget about each other and stop all communication. That will be the only way that won't upset his new girlfriend.

Good Luck Vagn. You will never hear from me anymore.

I am dating someone. I guess. He invited me to meet his best friends a few times But I refused, it is way too soon to meet the team. It is better get to know him better first...He is actually a romantic person. Poor guy got lots of mosqito bites playing golf. I like him, but I am not sure it will grow into love or not. He is younger than me...

Thursday, June 12, 2008

I love UBC

It is so nice working for UBC. I am my own manager and set my own schedule.I really enjoy my experience there and they have free lunch hour music concert all the time. Just joined a UBC town hall conference.... what a beautiful building( life science ), and they have students play live music there during lunch and break. The catering was awesome!

I will love to reduce my hour to 3 or 4 hours a day after July and continue my training in investment...going to a IPO presentation Friday night. Joining an option trading workshop next Monday and Tuesday.

Working part time for UBC fits my schedule perfectly. Orientation tomorrow, I hope that I can meet some people whom I can have good conversations with.

Vagn is dating someone. I am actually happy for him.... But I have the feeling of my only family in Vancouver is leaving me even it was expected since 4 years ago.

I cried for hours last night. What a stupid and selfish person that I am.

Sunday, May 04, 2008

Say goodbye

I feel very bad that I have to focus on the UBC position and leave this job. Jill the VP really treated me very well and I had learned a lot from her. I am so sorry.

I just discovered joggling between 2 jobs can really help me loss weight and hair plus some self-esteem.

Saturday, May 03, 2008

UBC = Good Pension and GOOD JOB?

I love the position as a designer and making 3d at the same time,but not so sure about the possible politics which can get very serious in the campus environment according to one of my colleagues who have been working there for 6 years.

The word politics is so broad and very confusing. I think it can maybe sum up into one sentence in the university environment: human behavior which involved harvesting the maximum benefit with the minimum effort which usually at the end all come to" money". Identifying which monkey group to relate to will be essensial to " survival" which is crucial to mental well being.

I want to point and laugh. Laugh so loud that I will pee my pants.

People are suffering and dieing, the earth is crying due to us, romance are waiting to begin but!!!!!!!!!!!!!! we are too busy dealing with politics. Politics will be all bull shit unless it is for a purpose which will achieve a higher purpose and make this world a better place.

I really have no patience to these kind of stuff.

There was this lady who were visiting from another smaller IS department for UBC. My manager introduced her to me in the office. After I said hi nice to meet you. I thrown in a sentence: " can I help you with anything? "

My colleague who worked there more than 6 year overheard that sentence. In the afternoon she gave me a very serious talk: you have to be very careful, there are a lot of politics around here, you shouldn't say: can I help you? here. because she is not from our learning centre, if you said that to her, she might actully gave you lot of work to do or ask you lots of questions..... and that office can be extremely demanding. so just don't ever say " can I help you? ".

How should I look at this?

Wednesday, April 09, 2008

UBC Art Falculty called

Have an interview today. It was interesting.

Friday, April 04, 2008

Everything is going very well

I love working for this e-learning company. My boss is a very nice lady. I actually really love working with her. The work I got is not hard and I can pretty much complete them in about 2 hours every day. Rest of the day I am learning investment and working on my art portfolio.

It has been some of the best time I had since I came to Vancouver.

Just got my Etrade account!

I logged in my Etrade account the first time today! Brought HAL two weeks ago and it was up 2 dollar and I had made 800 dollars with 400 stocks I had. Good news just came up 3rd of April about this company and I will keep the stock for a few more days maybe.

My buddy Vagn has made 8000 dollars in 3 weeks working only a few hours a day in the morning. So far he has not lost a cent in most of his trades.

I love the mad money show : ) For the thinking and the discovering behind it. And all the dramas and enthusiasm from this guy - Jim Cramer : ) He is a very smart and funny guy even in his books.

I think I just discovered that managing my own money is totally possible. The biggest reasons of all is that I actually care.

Thursday, March 27, 2008

I got the job

I got the job. Now I am officially working part time making more than I need and I will only need to sit in front of the computer 3 hours a day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and the rest of the day will be all mine!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Best of all... I will work from home and the company just across the street. Am I dreaming? And finally I am doing something that is helping people to learn and get a better life. I wish one day, I can use those multimedia tools to create something that can have positive impacts on people's life and help them to develop their skills.

Saturday, March 22, 2008

whole body



Next step will be unwrap. Then add detail normal map in Zbrush.
His name is "Knocker"(what a stupid name). He is generally friendly towards the miners although he enjoy making mischief.

Thursday, March 20, 2008

New work



I decided to keep this blog and use it as a update site for my works.

New Character : It was fun working on him. Feel almost like writing a final paragraph for my 3d career. Like telling a story; like bringing something to life.

I got 2 freelance job for 2 companies. It is nice that I will be able to travel with my laptop and make money to pay my bill while traveling or at home. I am so happy to finally get the call from the e-learning company.

I am officially starting my training courses in Swing Trading. It is fascinating watching the market in the morning 6:00am. One of my friends have been making around 200 dollars even more every day from home for 2 weeks. I guess it was maybe just luck : )

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Evil Neighbour

Selfish people with no compassion to other creature and people. They are wasting and consuming valuable resources in the world and give absolutely nothing back but pure evil, hatred and garbage. They should not exist and should be destroyed.

Like my new neighbors upstairs whom get stoned every night and jump up and down like 600 pound monkeys with a weed head.
I am starting to have a little bit of sympathy for gun users in the US. If there is a license for only killing evil humans in the world, I will go hunting every night and my first stop will be upstairs.

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Starting a new one this summer that is all about fun!!!


It is amazing how can someone view me so wrong.... it was ridiculous.

This diary is actually for myself to sort out and record my thoughts. I no longer feel safe to do so here.

By the way, I went to the dancing class again last night. Our teacher was amazing! She is very beautiful and a very elegant dancer. All the students there were amazed : )

Can't wait to go hiking with my friends. We are planning a few 3 days trips after April. Camping!

Ridiculousness is part of life, there is only so much fun you can have with it before you run out of laughters.

This summer will be my new beginning. It is time to start a new blog with only fun stuff maybe : )

Once upon a time in a beautiful country

I love talking and shopping with Luna. She is one of my best friends in Canada.

I wish we can both get what we wanted from live. I am looking forward to be her bride's maid next year in her wedding.

Wish her all the happiness on earth

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Vagabonding - by Rolf Potts and obedient-submissive stereotype

Your gender, for example, will affect how people react to you. Indeed, while most everything I say in this book applies equally to men and women, cross-cultural social interactions are a major exception. This is because women travelers more frequently tend to be the target of curiosity, harassment, and double standards. Simple friendliness and eye contact can be taken the wrong way by men in traditional cultures, and female independence is strangely confused with sexual lasciviousness in many parts of the world. It is not fair, but it's a reality - so female travelers should be on their guard.

I found this paragraph rather interesting. I don't think it just apply to cross-culture travelers, it apply also to every girls ( maybe especially Asian girls whom are suffering from obedient-submissive stereotype ) in North America.

Sometimes it get so funny and unbearable to watch, you just want to have fun with it. See what will they pretend to be to get lay and while they found that they couldn't then disappear swiftly into the universe like they had never exist. It is so obvious and predictable to a point that it is disgusting. That is why I get advices from girls like " tell every men you have a boyfriend as soon as you arrive the company, trust me, best policy getting rid of bugs."

I believe both sex have sexual needs and it is extremely normal and understandable. All you need is honesty, be honest to the other party with your truth feelings and respect theirs. At least give the courtesy of aligning expectations. But I believe some men believe it is much easier to cheat their way into getting what they want thus betray themselves as well as their female encounters' trust and compassion.

I guess if you are an animal who only worship money worrying about feeling will be a waste of time.Unfortunately, "nice girls" have to learn how to love these modern male
anthropoid apes.

Went to the dancing class again tonight. So much fun : ) So so nice to see Meg and Sandra again.

Saturday, March 08, 2008

Little doctor lake

"Preparation no more spoils the chance for spontaneity and serendipity than discipline ruins the opportunity for genuine self-expression in sports, acting, or the tea ceremony."

When can I start my exploring! I wish I can fly out to the little doctor lake right now.

Henry David Thoreau

My greatest skill has been to want little - Henry David Thoreau, Walden


Although Henry David Thoreau never traveled very far outside of New England, he promoted an uncommon view of wealth that is essential to vagabonding. Considering all material possessions beyond basic necessities to be an obstacle to true living, he espouses the idea that wealth is found not in what you own but in how you spend your time. " A man is rich." he wrote in Walden, " in proportion to the number of things which he can afford to let alone."

Born in Concord. Massachusetts. in 1817. Thoreau trained as an engineer at Harvard. although he never could pinpoint his true profession. At various times, he called himself a schoolteacher, a surveyor, a farmer, a house painter, a pencil maker, a writer, and "sometimes a poetaster." It is as a writer that he is best remembered - particularly for his book Walden, the vivid account of his one-year experiment in antimaterialist living.

At Walden Pond, Thoreau lived in such a way that he only had to work six weeks a year: eating vegetables from his garden and fish from the pond; living in a " tight, light, and clean house" that he built himself; avoiding unnecessary expenses, including fresh meat, fancy clothes, and coffee.This left him with ample time to indulge in the things he loved best: reading, writing, walking , thinking, and observing nature.

In this way - through simplicity - Thoreau was able to find true wealth. " Superfluous wealth can buy superfluities only," he wrote. "Money is not required to buy one necessity of the soul."


I found his thinking greatly resemble mine. It is amazing to discover there are actually so many people out there have the same doubt as me and look at life and money with similar attitude. But I guess this kind of attitude will not be a big boost to the now depressing economy under such a consumer culture. But what is the meaning of so call economy if it is all based on a false logical foundation? It will not and will never be a sustainable and a logical structure in my opinion. Like a business with no passion or a romantic relationship based on pure money and sex appeal, it is just not meant to last for the cruel reality of natural law of development and revolution will crash them fiercely. ( My limitation of English vocabulary is limiting my ability to express my true thoughts )

Friday, March 07, 2008

Thank you for the flower and cake




A ghost full of doubts traveling in the tunnel of time.





I got flowers from a few friends and a very nice birthday cake made by Anna's bakery, my favor place.

I am happy. Thank you to my dear friends.

There is only one small problem. I don't have any container that is big enough for the flowers but my bathtub.

Wednesday, March 05, 2008

7th March My Birthday!



I got flowers for my birthday. I put them in front of my apartment window. They make the whole room smell like heaven...

Happy Birthday to me : )

Joining the navigation class on the 8th April

I am joining a ocean navigation course on Granville Island April and then I will learn how to sail 1 weeks later.

Sunday joining Sandra to a dance class.

Meeting Jill from circle learning 11th march and Keith 10th. Take the Project Management one day course with Jill May.

Travel July and May. See what happen with all this freelancing thing. I might get a laptop soon.

Back to work after this summer and work on my portfolio and upgrade my skill with all these new techs during my travel around BC.

Monday, March 03, 2008

I miss them

I really miss them. I wonder how are they doing now? Next time I saw Fu's picture. She look a bit sad.

I wish one day I can see them again in Beijing. And I wish I had try harder to get to know them while I could.

Now I might never be able to meet them again.

Join me to the NorthWest Territory

Anyone here want to go see the northwest territory with me around July?

I originally planed to go by myself all the way up the Dempster Highway....but I am having a second thought..... Anyone want to go? ( no nasty pervert men please ! )

Why do I feel like talking to myself? Who will read this website anyway!


I am joining my friend to a 7 sections long dance class...can't wait to see myself looking funny shaking my ass and try to look sexy.

I still wouldn't let go of what happened. I am still in pain. Hopefully dancing can help me to forget.

Sunday, March 02, 2008

By Michael E. Gerber




Got some interesting thoughts from one of the books I am reading call( The EMyth). I wish I can one day really talk to these authors, but then I guess if I really meet them in person, I might get very disappointed and discover that they are just another group of stuck-ups. I guess you can be the greatest person talking on stage and your book, but there is no guarantee that this person is not just another asshole in real life.

But anyway, good enough for now that he has something logical to say. Let me just imagine that he is really this wonderful person portraited in his book.

It surprise me how cynical I am.


From EMyth:

You must ask yourself these questions: What do I value most? What kind of life do I want? What do I want my life to look like, to feel like? Who do I wish to be?

Your primary aim is the answer to all these questions.

If you were to write a script for the tape to be played for the mourners at your funeral, how would you like it to read?

That is your Primary Aim.

And once you've created the script, all you need to do is make it come true.

All you need to do is begin living your life as if it were important.

All you need to do is take your life seriously.

To create it intentionally.

To actively make your life into the life you wish it to be.

Simple? Yes.
Easy? No.

But absolutely essential if your business is to have any meaning beyond work.

Because if your business is going to become an integral part of that tape, if your business is going to make a major contribution to the realization of your dream, if your business is going to become a significant component of your Primary Aim, you have to let your business know what that Aim is!

And how can you expect to do that, if you don't know what that Aim is!

And how can you expect to do that, if you don't know what it is?

Do you see why your primary Aim is so important to the success of your business?

With no clear picture of how you wish your life to be, how on earth can you begin to live it?

How would you know what first step to take?
How would you measure your progress?
How would you know where you were?
How would you know how far you had gone?
How would you know how much farther you had yet to go?

Without your Primary Aim, you wouldn't. Indeed, you couldn't. It would be virtually impossible.

As with Mature companies, I believe great people to be those who know how they got where they are, and what they need to do to get where they're going.

Great people have a vision of their lives that they practice emulating each and every day.

They go to work on their lives, not just in their lives. of their future in the present. They compare what they've done with what they intended to do. And where there's a disparity between the two, they don't wait very long to make up the difference.

They go to work on their lives, not just in their lives.

I believe it's true that the difference between great people and everyone else is that great people creates their lives actively, while everyone else is created by their lives, passively waiting to see where life takes them next.

The difference between the two is the difference between living fully and just existing.

The difference between the two is living intentionally and living by accident.

Let me repeat once more that great quote by Don Juan in Carlos Castaneda's "A Separate Peace": " The difference between a warrior and an ordinary man is that a warrior sees everything as a challenge, while an ordinary man sees everything as either a blessing or a curse."

(The third wave) by Alvin Toffler


...most people surveying the world around them today see only chaos. They suffer a sense of personal powerlessness and pointlessness." He want on to say that, " individuals need life structure. A life lacking in comprehensive structure is an aimless wreck. The absence of structure breeds breakdown. Structure provides the relatively fixed points of reference we need."

It is these " relatively fixed points of reference" that an orderly business provides its customer and its employees in an otherwise disorderly world.

A new look this summer. Time for some shopping.

Friday, February 29, 2008

Alpha Salmon


There is apparently an alpha mate in the tank. The super big one. According to the volunteer breeder there, you can easily identify them by the size and the way they act. After listening to all their breeding and fertilizing stories, I couldn't help but wonder: What will the alpha human male suppose to look like? ( Do I sound like a geek? NO I AM NOT! I am a very romantic person! )
I feel almost guilty holding a big salmon sandwich while watching them struggle up stream and working so hard in keeping the eco system alive. What can we do but eating salmon bums! Yes, lot of dead salmons in the river. It is of course not the reservation's fault. Salmon do not eat during their whole voyage upstream to the spawning grounds (waters). Since swimming upstream on an empty stomach and ending with a rigorous spawning ritual, they probably die of exhaustion or malnutrition.

Also, their cells are used to maintaining homeostasis in a salt water environment. This is just a guess, but it's possible that the transition from salt water to fresh water can cause their cells to absorb too much water and cause massive cell death resulting in death of the organism.

http://goldseal.ca/wildsalmon/life_cycle.asp


Salmons can get a bit scary(or painful) looking during spawning season.

Life of salmon in certain way resemble human life circle, somehow there is a kind of tragical beauty about it.They are of course not thinkong about " purpose of life". If I ask them, what is the purpose of you swimming upstream and lay eggs? They might just give me a blank look into the universe. But somehow in the so call human world, they serve a purpose. So us as human being, are we also serving " purpose" to a bigger more advance intelligence or being? Maybe only them can look at us and answer the question of so call " purpose". But again, who can answer the same question for them? I guess, this question is the drive of a urge to worship the almighty power, the unknown.

I guess the breeder might have missed the intellectual part of " alpha mate" . A big fish might look like one, but a smart fish might be more important to keep than only the big ones. But again, how can you judge a fish is smart or not, it will be just as difficult as judging a male is a virgin or not... ( I am not being very nice here, sorry)

I am sick and tired of people telling me, you are thinking too much, you worry too much. I feel like they are almost trying to play the role of that almighty super being, and trying to reduce me to a fish or a monkey which might never " think" according to our standard. How proud you are! By branding yourself as a monkey, or trying to control others like they are monkeys to serve your purpose! ( I am a bit irrational )

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Finding "it" : )

I have a Dream!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I got a big head and sore arms writing all those statements, but happy for myself. My own journey of discovery. I am proud of myself for having the courage having the power to alter my own fate.

I will be all set once I found the "it".
The it that worth to live for. For now, unfortunately, not making baby and serving my husband.

I really sometimes wish I can get satisfied by being a lovely and healthy housewife or doing the same job for the rest of my life. I really do.

But I really can't. It was so painful trying to find the "it". It was painful facing all those criticism and discrimination even from within myself.

statement of aims and objectives

I have a dream: to build a multimedia online publishing house, a publishing heaven for the people. To provide low to middle income Chinese people easily accessible on-line training. In order to better prepare myself for the challenge, I have 4 main goals to reach during my study in the SFU MPUB course.

Aim One: To gain a better understanding of the Canadian Publishing Industry

Objectives:

· Gain a better understanding of copyright issues and government regulations

· Understand marketing for publications

· Study project management and budgeting for publishing

· Look into the future though study of the past

Aim Two: To build my portfolio of publications

Objectives:

· Create my first e-base educational publication

· Develop a paper based bilingual magazine for low to middle income English learners in China

Aim Three: To research

· Research into the publishing industry in China in comparison to the Canadian publishing industry

· Identify market potentials and current issues

· Study impacts of digitization and e-publishing to the publishing industry in both Canada and China

Aim Four: To Network

· Build a strong supportive team with fellow students and faculty

· Identify key players in the industry and volunteer for key networking events

statement of Interest for sfu

“Learn without thinking begets ignorance. Think without learning is dangerous.”

- Confucius Lun Yu Chap. 2

The future of China probably belongs to people who can both think and learn independently given the proper tools and access.

My interest in educational multimedia publishing dates back to my studies for my MA in Computer Animation. One of my research projects was the use of multimedia applications In English mainstream schools. (see attached letter) After interviewing numerous teachers and advisers from the local (UK) education directorate and working as a teaching assistant for a local school in their art and technology program, I discovered multimedia publishing including the use of new media and that computer games can be an excellent tool in assisting and enhancing students’ interest of learning. Upon graduating, I began working in the 3D animation industry on a production titled “World of Words”, a computer program that uses 3D characters to teach children how to read and write. I have also worked on mainstream games such as “Spiderman” for Sony Pictures and a “direct to video” production of “Hot Wheels” for Mattel while at Mainframe Entertainment.

In 2007, I traveled back to China numerous times while working for Next Level Games as a designer and liaison between our two studios. Due to my love of reading and book collecting, I visited publishers in Beijing and Shenzhen. During my travels, I discovered a tremendous amount of new publications and also publishing houses interested in cooperating with foreign publishers in game arts and multimedia technology. I noticed that those massive book stores and Multilanguage publication centers were always full of people and I could feel the hunger and desire for ordinary Chinese people to develop new skills and communicate with the outside world. I have always been one of them and I understand how they feel and what they need. I realized there is something I can contribute; there is something worth devoting my life to, multimedia online publishing, a publishing heaven for the people.

There is a sea of change going on in China and as I traveled the country sides and inland cities, I saw, in the eyes of a population, a people looking for a better way of life. China’s education system is going through semi privatization and it can be very costly for Chinese low to middle class families to gain a good education. I’ve heard the sad stories of migrant workers from inland China, some of them who are desperate for training and access to an education, but can never afford it or have no idea where to get it. I can’t help but wonder, can anything be done through the development of affordable online training and publications? Can the internet be used to show them their options and give them hope for a wonderful future? Maybe one day, in China, learning English will not be just for the rich, but for anyone who has the will to learn and access to the internet.

Fuelled by the desire to delve further into the field of multimedia publishing, I took some freelance work from a local e-learning company call “Circle Learning” in Yale town. I also attended many workshops, including a 5-month program on Multimedia Technology Studies in UBC to gain expertise in the field of creating multimedia websites.

I am a good designer and I have taught myself advance level English and successfully complete my MA studies in UK in Computer Animation. I have broad level of work experience in design for interactive media and I will continue my advancement in the field while gaining valuable knowledge in the publishing industry.

As I browsed through the list of schools, I found SFU Canadian Centre in Publishing. Your course fulfils all my requirements of a well-designed general study of the publishing industry: great facilities, broad curricula, flexible course structures and practical training opportunities.

I am aware that intensive study in a specialized field is a difficult task to achieve and excel at. But I strongly believe that what we persist in doing becomes easier for us to do; not because the nature of the thing has changed, but because the power to do it has increased.

I know where to direct the force of my will, to ensure that my career doesn't lay within the ruins of indecisiveness. In this decision alone, I choose the only path that shall lead me to certain success in your program. I would like to take with me, in addition to knowledge of Multi-interactive media and Design, a network of strong and lasting relationships with my teachers and fellow-students. I hope that my background and qualifications are found suitable for the Mpub Program.

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Travel Plan after May


Dempster Highway
Yakaking with Killer Whales
Mt Robson Provincial Park
Juan Perez Sound and Hot Springs Island
The Inside Passage
Pacific Rim National Park Reserve
Gulf Islands
Beachcombing by Helicopter
Rocky Mountaineer Train Trip
See Brackendale Bald Eagles
Della Falls
And Salmon Fishing in Queen Charlotte islands

I still really really want to go to the Northwest Territories and Yukon and get really really away from the city face only the nature by myself. If you don't see any post in 4 months, call the police for me please.

Monday, February 25, 2008

My website


My website: www.laurenliang.com

It has been completed a long time ago. I will upload my new work there very soon : )

Got accepted to the Master of Publishing Program






It is a master degree in SFU. I am not sure I should go though. It is one and a half year long.

But it sounds very interesting. I am working on some very fantastic character models which were designed by myself. I love working on them. And I am becoming a master in Flash now.

It is so much fun. Meeting Jill the VP from the e_learning company. She will have some freelancing for me to do for a medical project to help train nurses working for most of the major hospitals.

It is best time i ever had working from home and making arts and upgrading my skills and read!

I might volunteer for st paul's hospital before my trip after May. The lady from the UBC center will show me around there. Can't wait to help people in need...

Yes, and I had registered for the sea navigation class on granville island and also the basic cruise course. It will be so much fun. Not sure I should join the gulf island 5 day sailing class though.

I will bring my laptop and travel around BC this summer...while freelancing for circle learning in the medical project.

So buddies, there are indeed lots of positive things going on there just i were too lazy to write about them.... I will try to put them on my site too so I won't make you cry too much..... I am doing great. Never been so good in my life.

It has been a long time not feeling like a machine but alive and breathing.

Author of Lust .Caution ---- Zhang Ailing



“我立在阳台上,在黯蓝的月光里看那张照片,照片里的笑,似乎有藐视的意味,然而那注视里还是有对这世界难言的恋慕。 ”
  ——张爱玲

  1995年的9月8日,张爱玲一个人在纽约的公寓孤独地离去。这位本世纪中国最优秀、最惊恐不安,也最沉静的女性作家,为其传奇般的一生画下了一个诡异的句号。

Why I feel that she is talking to me from her old pictures. I wonder if I can go back in time, would we became friends? I would bump into her in a store in the state, and just start talking. If that happened, I would have been around her when she was dying in a tiny apartment in a strange foreign country with no one around.
 

Sunday, February 24, 2008

What kind of love life she had? Is she really evil?



It is hard to be honest to myself



It is hard to be yourself sometimes. Accept the negative part of you, look back at your thoughts and anger.

I choose to be at least honest to myself, to be truthful, no matter how ugly I actually am.