Don't read my diary

I took a look at my diary. It is very depressing.
There are a few reasons: I only write down my depressing thoughts; by writing them down, somehow make me feel better.
I am depressed 40 percent of the time which is making this diary even more depressing.
I have a low selfesteem.
I am a big piece of looser.
Nobody loves me and I can't love anyone.

......I think I should stop before I run to the kitchen and get my butcher knife and start to butcher myself.

By the way, the other day I saw a video on youtube teaching people how to cut your own legs off and another one teach you how to have sex with a sheep. He was really cutting it off . I almost puke all my lunch out after seeing the video.
How can anyone get so sick? Was that his dad drunk some toxic chemical while having sex with his mum? or somehow his mum was a mutated violent monkey?

He

I have decided to forget about him. Deleting all his contact info from the computer and cell phone is easy but deleting everything about him in my head and my heart will take a long time. It is never gonna to work anyway. It still give me a heart attack feeling when I wake up in the morning thinking about him. Is this call love or it is just that I am horny?

What is the point that seeing him for half an hour once a month? I am really not in his heart and what is the point behaving like a sticker which will only hurt myself.

I am just so used to having him around and it is killing me now that he is sure sure gone forever.

I might never be able to find my truth love. I don't probably deserve it.

Designers

I have been reading about design history. Below paragraph I found rather interesting. Is it still suitable to describe current situation?

Bob Gage and Helmut Krone, Two art directors at Doyle Dane Bernbach, Were particularly critical in their comments on graphic design and typography. " Design is cold," said Gage, " it doesn't move people." Whereas Krone claimed that, " The thing about DDB was that designers were like poison. Somebody who knew how to draw was poison. A guy who was too good a typographer - we didn't want him. " Krone explained that, " We knew about the Bauhaus, but we weren't after design, we were after advertising. We were interested in reaching people. That's all we were interested in. "

http://www.ddbcanada.com/base.php

Have been practicing my handwriting recently too. I prefer Copperplate Commercial Style from the 18th century.

I am joining the UBC multimedia study course very soon. Can't wait also to join the photography Saturday class in Langara.