What if?

I am so busy at work. My parents are coming over for chinese new year! I am really not sure they will like it here or not, it is a beautiful place, but it can be a very loney place too.

kissing my computer good night

I　ａｍ　ｖｅｒｙ　ｂｕｓｙ　ｒｅｎｃｅｎｔｌｙ．　Ｎｏｔ　ｖｅｒｙ　ｓｕｒｅ　I　ｓｈｏｕｌｄ　ｓｔａｙ　ｌａｔｅ　ｔｉｌｌ　７：３０ｗｉｔｈ　Ｐａｕｌ　ｔｈｏｕｇｈ．　Ｈｅ　ｍｅｎｔｉｏｎ　ｈｅ　ｉｓ　ｇｏｎｎａ　ｔｏ　ｄｏ　ｌａｔｅ　ｎｉｇｈｔ　ｐｒｏｂａｂｌｙ　３　ｎｉｇｈｔｓ　ａ　ｗｅｅｋ．I think maybe I should go to work late as him and get dinner for staying late.Just maybe too much for my health to work so much. 　Ｉ am currently working on new textures, tanslate character posts, and also conference call to Beijing every night.

Arthur seems has problem handing me the english version before 3:30. I　ａｍ　ｎｏｔ　ｓｕｒｅ　Ｉ should still translate them the other day even though people in Beijing already fully understand it and has raise no questions.

what am I　ｄｏｉｎｇ？　Ｉ　ａｍ　ａ　ｗｏｒｋａｈｏｌｉｃ！！！！！！I am still thinking about work after taking a bath at home. If my computer is a man, we will probably already made 20 babies.

I want to...

There are a few things I really want to do. Be a better writer, a better artist and build a nice home. Actually, not just that, I also want to dance, want to have some more nice friends and want to help our environment, try fishing, travel more and be very good with yoga practise or some kind of kongfu.

There are a few people in my life I really admire, like my mum, she doesn't know that, but after these years living on my own in different foreign countries, and working or even dating with quite a few assholes. I realize how tough her life must have been. She is my hero. Even more of a hero if she can give me more of my own space and be happier with her marriage.

I will try my best to pay her back. It won't be easy, but I will try.

Where is my Beijing?

I went to Beijing recently. I were so glad to see my colleagues and my family. Raymond has built a great team there in Beijing. They seems very close and sincere to each other. There was one guy who said to me before I left: remember you willl always have a second home here in Beijing, come back often and we will miss you. His word and the way he said it make me felt like crying out loud. By the way: this great young man is not in love with me, stop it please!

I feel sorry to see Beijing turning into a big lump of traffic and pollution. I went there with my mum and my friends 15 years ago, Beijing used to be so clean and magnificant. I can't help but wonder: Is beijing or the whole china really moving forward into a sustailable prosperity? Or it is in a state like me with my career as someone's comment: being to eager to move forward and learn to a point that the whole effort almost seems ugly in the eyes of the rest of the world?

Is human race really have a future? Will all problems be solved if we can exist without relying on our body? Sometimes I wonder: am I the only person in the world actually realize we might be on our way to extinction and destroying every thing else on the way?



I found it sometimes amusing. People struggle for power, money, lust. We are all working so hard in this money machine system, fighting for pride and power and religion. But seems like nobody care the fact that: the way we live our life is destroying everything which we rely on and it is the only thing we have which is worth to treasure and to care for.

There is one surprise: I saw quite a lot of birds there in Beijing. I once saw a big one like an eagle flought over my hotel window. There is a saying: when a xique fly in front of you, you will have good luck that day. Wish the best luck to all creatures in this world.